- Feb 26, 2021
- 1 min
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Therapy
in London & online
Searching for a therapist can feel bewildering, especially when something is wrong and you're suffering. After all we rarely seek therapy for the sake if it.
You’ve likely been struggling for a while, living with an uncomfortable feeling but something has now tipped the scale.
Meaningful therapy has a purpose. It’s aim is to relieve you of your pain. So, finding a relationship where you feel trusting enough to speak freely, can be transformative. To experience yourself connected and in deep conversation, expressing feelings you might otherwise avoid sharing. Feelings that have hitherto been silenced, ignored, minimised or negated.
If you wish you can call, email or reserve a time where your questions can be discussed openly and in confidence.
What is therapy?
The terms counselling & psychotherapy are broadly interchangeable. Counselling perhaps leans towards problem-solving and the latter more of a journey; the boundaries however are fluid.
Both have evolved over recent years to meet the needs of a more informed, tech-savvy society.
Contemporary counselling and psychotherapy is generally a relational experience. While confidential, non-judgemental, supportive and professional, there is now an active relational process that takes shape.
We all bring something different to an encounter, so the work moulds and shapes itself to fit the needs of each individual.
Featured in The Times.
Nov 2023
What is it like?
In simple terms, therapy offers an opportunity to speak freely. To experience yourself in conversation with someone, perhaps saying things where you might otherwise have remained silent and thinking thoughts that may have never crossed your mind before.
It is a unique experience around which a relationship develops and where hopes and expectations invite change, toward an outcome neither party can quite foresee.
Therapy is often referred to as 'work' by those who practice it, as therapeutic relationships require intention, commitment, thoughtfulness and time.
"A way of being with"
Opportunities for change appear, as blind spots in our thinking are carefully highlighted, within the body of what we can hold together as patient and therapist.
Why this type of therapy?
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is a long established and well researched approach which links present experience with past events & relationships. On adjusting to unforeseen perspectives and understanding, meaningful and lasting change can occur.
Often clinical terms or phrases become attached to particular behaviours or traits; this can be helpful. For example, anxiousness, obsessiveness , hyperactivity or depression
These terms attempt to offer meaning for what we experience, but behind the symptoms or diagnosis is a complex individual with thoughts, feelings and memories...
A number of common reasons for seeking therapeutic help are summarised below.
Anxiety
Recognition of anxiety & stress in society is commonplace, but do we really understand it? Is it brought on by external events or does the threat come from within?
Has the anxiety become chronic? Is it somatic (bodily) such as in panic attacks, hives, face picking, hair pulling, headaches and so on?
I retain a keen interest in discovering the forms that anxiety takes. Is it a warning signal or perhaps parental, in becoming a somewhat familiar and consistent yet unwelcome feeling.
Personal Relationships
Intimate relationships are the life blood of our existence. They are the source of great joy and also unbearable pain. You might be in a meaningful long-term relationship or something more fleeting. For you this might be about family issues, friends, parenting or a problem with colleagues or associates? You might be losing a sense of yourself - what it means to be you somehow? Maybe you're feeling stuck, attacked or in some way dependent, or perhaps lonely. You might be experiencing the pain of loss, a break-up, separation or divorce. We can think about the way you are currently coping and together seek strategies that feel more helpful and resilient.
Sex & sexuality
Insecurities around sex & sexuality need to be handled with openness, sensitivity and warmth as at their core this is about intimacy and vulnerability.
I work with any gender, sexual orientation or those who are simply disinterested in sex. I work with individuals exploring festishes, chemsex & in particular porn addictions, aggressive feelings and acting out around sexual desire.
Substance misuse
In most instances substance misuse indicates a coping mechanism underpinned by trauma, neglect or perceived threats.
Substance misuse can bring temporary relief of course, but often torment us with deeper anxieties. Anything can become addictive so I won't attempt to make a list, suffice to say there are familiar culprits.
More often than not it's about how we take care of and value ourselves; so this is where we might begin.
Eating &
self-harm
The shame & secrecy surrounding self-harm will be approached with care and thoughtfulness. This behaviour could take the form of cutting, anorexia, bulimia or something else.
We will think together about why that on the one hand, this behaviour brings such relief, but the consequences invite such confusion and concern.
Can this behaviour be a sort of parenting, or self-care?
Rage &
anger
Explosive anger directed at those you care about can be terribly destructive. Is this anger also directed towards yourself? Is this expression appropriate - does it remind you of the people in your past?Are you enslaved by it - in a state of repressed anger, hatred or envy?
How does anger present itself in our work together? We won't judge it but will work together, to understand it.
Confidence
Low self-esteem is a crushing state to experience. You may be dreading a public speaking engagement or feeling chronic unease in social situations or a in a relationship?
You may be overly critical of your appearance, your weight, how you look or your performance in the bedroom.
Speaking about these tensions will get you some space to think, to notice & challenge assumptions and perhaps quieten this critical voice.
Loss & bereavement
Feelings of loss can arise in relation to anything - whatever you've become attached too. However the grief of losing someone you love deeply, can be debilitating. Whatever your beliefs about death, speaking to someone can bring enormous comfort.
I can provide the time and emotional support in whatever way is useful and perhaps the room to revisit your own life in the reflection of those you've lost.
Depression
Low mood & self loathing is often described as anger turned inwards. In many ways this is useful however, without being able to communicate these depressive conflicts you remain disconnected, unmotivated & unable to see a way out.
Speaking to someone offers a opportunity to witness the light, from within this darkness.
Professional
life
The self-worth we garner from our work is significant. Establishing working patterns, our careers; the interpersonal & financial implications of success, change & failure, can attract their own set of problems.
Through interpersonal conflict at work, recruitment, retirement or other transitional issues, I can help you consider what strategies and decisions might be right for you.
Physical
trauma
The impact of physical injury, surgery and the resulting pain is often overlooked. We may feel the physical traumas but often mis-read or even begin to neglect the impact this has had on our mood and sense of the future.
Having someone alongside you on this journey as you cope dealing with or overcoming an injury, cannot be overestimated.
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